December
by kara helen
Summary: Modern P&P. Darcy's already come between Jane and Charlie once. Elizabeth's sticking close this time to make sure he doesn't get a second chance. Admist the threats and arguments, the seeds of love get planted.


"There aren't enough words to describe how much I hate you, Will Darcy."

Will Darcy stumbles back two steps as a slender index finger jabs him in the chest. He briefly notices the halo of soft curls, shorter than he remembers, and a pair of pink, chapped lips. It's the woman's dark eyes, and the glint of maniacal anger, that capture his attention. Will opens his mouth to demand that this _lunatic_ return to whatever psychiatric facility she escaped from, but all that comes out is a rather unintelligent, "Huh?"

Elizabeth Bennet glances over her shoulder at the silver car parked in front of Will's house then shoves Will inside and slams the door shut. "I just had to listen to Charlie go on about St. Darcy for twenty minutes. According to him, not only are you the love child of Gandhi and Mother Teresa, you were raised by a group of Einstein-esque geniuses and Midas passed his gift onto you." She arches an eyebrow and crosses her arms over her chest. "We both know that's just a steaming load of crap, now don't we?"

It takes Will's brain a moment to catch up with Elizabeth's torrent of words. He isn't sure what to say or if he should say anything at all. He only had one psychology class in college and can't remember if you're supposed to agree with a delusional person or jolt them out of their fantasy. He reaches back onto the antique cherry table for his cell phone and settles for an icy, "Excuse me?"

He realizes it's the absolute worst thing to say when Elizabeth's eyes grow even wider, _a la _late night anime, and those chapped lips compress into a thin line of disapproval. She's his overbearing aunt, his fifth-grade teacher, and old Mrs. Pettinsky from down the street rolled into one. His fingers brush across the keypad of his cell phone. He lets out a small sigh of relief and starts dialling his best friend's number.

"No! _No_! I will not excuse you Mr. I-Must-Control-Everything Darcy. You may have Charlie believing that you're the best thing since the designated hitter rule, but I know you're the reason he and Jane broke up last fall. I know _everything_ you said about Jane, her family, and her _incompatibility_."

"They were broken up for all of a month." Will takes a step back when she lifts her hand. He's already certain he'll have the indentation from her fingernail permanently etched into his chest.

"Let me rip out your lungs, tell you your dog died, burn down your favorite restaurant, and break up your favorite band only to come back four weeks later and have Ashton Kutcher come out to tell you you've been punked." Elizabeth sneers mockingly. "Tell me then how long a month can feel."

"How did you - ? I mean, you must have some reason for making wild accusations." Will puts the phone back on the table before the call can connect. He definitely doesn't want Charlie Bingley around for this conversation. Their friendship is too precious for him to risk over the Bennet family, _again_. Will managed to stay on Charlie's good side the first time around. He's not so sure Charlie will be so good-natured twice.

"Jane had to work late last week. Charlie and I went Greek." Elizabeth grins when panic flashes across Will's face. "Charlie can't hold his ouzo worth shit."

It's something Will knows all too well, and it's not just ouzo, either. Charlie's a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. That in itself wouldn't be so bad if Charlie wasn't also an affectionate, _talkative_ drunk. "He told you everything."

Elizabeth nods sharply. "_Everything_. Don't worry, though. He sees your interference as a good thing. You helped him clear his head and realize just how much he wuvs his widdle Janey."

Despite the tension choking the air out of the foyer, Will can't help but chuckle at that. It sounds like something a drunk, love-sick Charlie would say. As he wipes a tear from the corner of his left eye, he glimpses the slight softening of Elizabeth's posture and the barest hint of a real smile. She's actually quite pretty when she's not a fire-breathing dragon. Okay, so she's pretty when she _is_ a fire-breathing dragon, but that's an observation best ignored.

"You should send Charlie flowers. My sister Mary, too. I don't know what Charlie likes, but Mary has a thing for orchids." Elizabeth pointedly ignores the downright _yummy_ picture a laughing Will Darcy makes. He is abso-frickin-lutely not a gorgeous piece of man flesh. He's the man who helped break Jane's heart. Satan and Hitler's bastard child. Stalin's protégé. _Bad, bad hormones_!

Will can count on one hand the number of people he's sent flowers to. Charles Bingley does not rank among the few. The women on that list he's either known since infancy or is related to. He doesn't foresee adding Mary Bennetto the list. "I should?"

Elizabeth makes a small hum of agreement. "If Charlie hadn't upchucked all over the inside of my car on the way home from the restaurant, I would have driven straight over here and cheerfully murdered you that night." She giggles to herself. "I even wrote out a checklist on a napkin. I asked the waiter where I could buy lye on a Thursday night. Unfortunately Charlie was sick all over the table before he could answer. Don't worry though, I've since Googled a place."

Will gulps and reaches once more for his phone. At this moment he has no doubt that Elizabeth Bennet is capable of murder. Though she isn't jabbing him with her pointy little finger anymore, that wicked gleam is still in her eyes. "And Mary?"

"She ran her car into a tree Saturday. Worst driver in the family, and trust me that's saying something. Broke her leg in two places. I've been helping her until Mom and Dad get home from Vegas. I couldn't very well come all the way out here and off you when my sis needed me, could I? Besides, she wouldn't have been able to bail me out and Jane refuses to do it again."

"Orchids you said?" Ms. Mary Bennet may just find herself the receipient of a very nice potted orchid. Will has never wished an accident on anyone, _except maybe once or twice, but Jackass Wickham doesn't count does he, _but he is rather grateful for Mary's lack of driving ability.

Elizabeth's snarky retort, Will doesn't expect it to have been anything particularly earth-shattering, is cut off by the loud buzz of the doorbell. She springs forward and grasps the front of his shirt before dragging him down to eye level. "I'm watching you, Darcy. You so much as hint to Charlie that my sister is _unsuitable_ or _fickle_, and I'll castrate you with the rustiest pair of scissors I can find."

Without giving Will a chance to respond, Elizabeth opens the front door and spins on her heel to greet her bewildered sister and Charlie. She offers up an embarrassed smile. "Sorry, guys. Had to make a run for the bathroom. You should know better than to let me get an extra-large coffee at the Shop-N-Gas."

Jane, oblivious to the heaviness between Will and her sister, pats Elizabeth's cheek affectionately. "We also know better than to stand between you and your caffeine, Liz. It's all about lesser evils."

Charlie slings an arm around Elizabeth and kisses her cheek. "You're a bit scary when your blood-caffeine level falls below sixty-percent."

Will laughs. He doubles over and clutches his knees. Salty tears drip down his cheeks and fall onto his tailored black pants. Elizabeth Bennet _a bit scary_? Charles Bingley, ladies and gentlemen, the king of understatements. By the time Will stops laughing, his lungs burn but he feels lighter than he has in months. He catches Elizabeth's eye while he greets Jane. She holds up her hand, mimes cutting with scissors, and winks. Yeah, definitely lighter. And maybe just a little scared. _And_, the small voice in the back of his head adds,_ the tiniest bit in love._


End file.
